On Children by Kahlil Gibran

Full Text

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Overview

"On Children" is perhaps the most frequently quoted passage from "The Prophet," often read at christenings, graduations, and parenting workshops. Gibran presents a radical view of parenthood: children are not possessions but autonomous souls passing through their parents' lives. The poem challenges conventional notions of parental ownership and control.

Line-by-Line Analysis

Lines 1-2

A mother holding her baby asks about children—the physical intimacy of the image contrasts with Almustafa's message about emotional distance and letting go.

Lines 3-4

"Your children are not your children" — The paradox is immediate and startling. They are "sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself," suggesting children serve a cosmic purpose beyond family.

Lines 5-6

"Through you but not from you" distinguishes parents as channels rather than sources. Children pass through parents like arrows through a bow—the metaphor Gibran develops later.

Lines 7-8

"Give them your love but not your thoughts" — Parents can offer emotion freely but should not impose their worldview. Children must develop their own understanding.

Lines 9-11

"House their bodies but not their souls" — The physical is all parents can truly provide. The soul belongs to "the house of tomorrow," a future the parent cannot access or control.

Lines 12-14

"Strive to be like them" reverses expectation—children are the model, not parents. "Life goes not backward" reinforces that children represent the forward movement of existence.

Lines 15-22

The bow and arrow metaphor: parents are bows, children are arrows, God is the archer. The bow's purpose is to bend and release—not to hold. "Let your bending be for gladness" transforms the pain of letting go into purpose.

Themes

• Children as autonomous beings
• Letting go in parenting
• The limits of parental control
• Children belonging to the future
• Love without possession

Literary Devices

Paradox

"Your children are not your children" — The opening contradiction forces readers to reconsider assumptions about parenthood and ownership.

Personification

"Life's longing for itself" — Life is given desire and intention, suggesting children serve existence itself, not just families.

Antithesis

"through you but not from you" — Paired opposites clarify the distinction between channel and source.

Metaphor

"the house of tomorrow" — The future is made concrete as a dwelling place only children can inhabit.

Extended Metaphor

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth" — The poem's culminating image: God as archer, parents as bows, children as arrows. The bow must bend and release—its purpose is not to hold but to propel.

Historical Context

This poem resonated powerfully with the 1960s-70s movements toward child-centered parenting and continues to influence modern parenting philosophy. Gibran drew on his experience as a child sent away from Lebanon and his observations of immigrant families navigating cultural change.